In Mourning

I'm wearing all black today...

Have you heard? 

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively got married over the weekend. 

I've been getting condolence texts/emails all morning so I thought I should make a public statement. But the statement I want to make might get censored for the amount of expletives that would be directed at the new Mrs. Reynolds so I will refrain. And the worst part is, they got married at Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, SC! Where I live! I could have stopped it from happening! I mean Blake, how dare you...how dare you parade this around in my face like that?!?! Aren't there any places to get married in Virginia??? I'm glad that I never watched Gossip Girl. And you were terrible in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. So there. No run off with the Sexiest Man Alive and enjoy my dream life.......I'll just continue to read about it in the gossip magazines while weeping and alternating between Ben & Jerry's and tequila shooters.

Clearly the better choice....